2:54 AM ; Monday, August 27, 2007
tons of things took place this week(and last week). maybe i should start off with the performance. my goodness, i was so tense! but i thought we were much BETTER than the other band (sorry dudes, the truth hurts) and they only played like 2 songs. we played for half an hour! hhaha! i did make quite a few mistakes, but no one in the the audience really heard~~~ =) surprisingly the dancing was really natural! the only sad thing was that it was sweltering hot that day. but with so many people there to encourage me (thanks jolene, crystal, zhen ting and dear daddy!) it was all worth it. that day was so funny: daddy went around to talk to my seniors and told me he found priscilla very amusing (because of that trademark look of hers). she is very cute =)aiya, talking about this makes me mad too. WHERE IS MY LETTER FROM MY MORTAL AND ANGEL HUH. I'M SO ANGRY. i see that the rest of the sec 1s have their chocolates already, but i have nothing! this is so depressing!
and then today, 2 teachers were so mad at me. fanny lowe whacked my head (gently, but still!) i honestly and genuinely think she doesn't like me. as in she takes my work, looks at it and puts it down silently so not as to allow any foul words spill out by accident of the shabbiness of it all. really! and mrs han was mad at me today too. aiya, i really don't understand her sometimes.like for the nomintaions, she was more concerned about the candidate's marks than their leadership qualities. but i suppose she hates me too. she is always telling me that i am the nominated kindess award recipient, so i cannot be so 'blur' and all the usual things that she says. i think other teachers don't like me too. none of them like me. i don't think ms cheang knows my name. miss begam didn't seem so amused when i put the pink cedar bag over my head( i was intially assuming that she was still on her way to bring the copper sulphate). ms quek scolded me in class. miss chua wasn't too amused by my green icing today and i don't think she knows my name either. another one of those teachers who don't know me is miss meena. mdm wong hardly likes to see my messy workings. oh and don't get me started on pikachu.
oh fine i shall anyway. the whole class was so amused by his teaching. as in, he teaches in such a green horn manner that is desperately trying to imitate a style that is not suitable for him. he's scary when he checks on you like mdm lim. any way during the first and hopefully not last fun english lesson (where she asked zhi hui 'can i prEH [thats how she pronounces it. what's she's really saying is 'pray'] for you?') sonya and i were laughing our butts off about pikachu transforming into squirtle with a blue shirt. and him turning into jigglypuff with a pink shirt and mdm lim's siganture 'sleepy' style. that was just irresistable laughter.
oh and i am so tired! i want a break! but i promise from this post on i will stop whining as much as possible. through the gateway covention for youth i learnt that i am too whiny for my own good. oh and one more thing! you know i baked cupcakes for testing for the test today, so to finish them i brought them to the convention. so after blessing people at hdb flats (part of the convention) i let the vietnamese delegates try my revoltingly sweet cupcakes(looking back now, i really shouldn't have). then a fellow vietnamese brother told me seomthing very touching. he said hefell asleep in a bus once and dreamt that he was at the hdb block eating cakes (even though he had never been to singapore). now how many people have the honour of God using your cakes to call someone to come to visit singapore!
p.s i am faithfully believing it was God's work. please let it be true =)
6:12 AM ; Monday, August 20, 2007
now i just feel like crying. there's so many things for me to finish ,and nothing's done.what's going to happen on sunday? how about my work? everything's so mixed up.i keep sleeping in class. i'm so exhausted.
i want to retreat in the middle of war. someone save me. my health is all over the place and there is so much anger and exhaustion hanging in the air.
even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words seem to rhyme. so since, i'm not the best, i fall down more than sometimes. and that is very irritating.
i need to get better grades. i need better sleep. i need more time. i need to shut my mouth more. i need to see the better of me more often. i need to perform better. i need to lose the stubborn fat i have had for 13 years. i need preperation for the end years.
my last fire is burning low. i'm barely catching my breath. and lucky me, it's all my fault.
4:32 AM ; Wednesday, August 01, 2007
i'm not ready. i don't want a new marriage and a divorce.
i really cannot stand it. why must i divorce mr tenor? *because my stupid back restricts me to! **slaps brenda* i sound terrible on the alto. mr ong dooesn't like it too. i can't play soft enough for a chirstmas song, and my tonguning can kill. my new marriage isn't going so well.1. 2006 brenda had the life man! 2007 ting peiwen isn't. i mean, why must ting peiwen literally screw up in everything she does? i have mentally slapped myself over millions of times but nothing seems to work. i must sound nice. i don't. i squeak. i squawk. i want my old. husband.back. but it's too late. and trust me, no one understands the feeling of nostalgia and being useless as well as i do.
2. i miss naruto music.
3.i find lit fun, but just that i'm doing well in it. how much worse can i get??
4. the time has come for me to get good grades already, but the newest science test doesn't think so.
5. pretty please can i get better in something other then whining? they are the main reasons for the mental self-slaps after all.
